Troll’s Hole

Well…… not ‘marches’ as much as kind of plod along listlessly and without a real goal in mind. Time seems to be funny that way.

I think I finally made my escape from LaLa land. My badge ran out on the last day of last month and I aggressively did not get it renewed. I did everything I could to get all of my work done, yet there were still things unfinished there. I sincerely hope that I never experience anything like that again. A good jobsite takes a lot of coordination, and this jobsite gloriously failed to coordinate on so many different levels it is difficult to describe.

The best view I ever had of that project was the building getting gradually smaller in my rear view mirror for the last time.

My initial mad dash to get everything at Sanctuary done in time to be on to the next project fell by the way when I learned that the next project is delayed. Something about missing a specification about what kind of flooring is actually required.

I am using this extra time to get the house in better shape than it has ever been before. Fresh paint everywhere, touch up this, tweak that, and think about all the memories we made in this place. Replace a water heater, clean carpets, work, work, work. I am anxious to get back to corporate work so I can relax a little.

Then off to Idaho.

I heard a wonderful description of how the government does business, and thought I would share it with you with my unusual embellishments.

“We want you to bring Big Government a rock”, says Big Government

“I will bring you a rock for $5”, you say. You are thinking that rocks are free and that this is going to be the easiest $5 that you have ever made.

“Deal!” says Big Government, “If you will just sign here then you can go get us a rock and we will pay you $5.”

You return with a rock. It is a nice rock and easily worth $5. It is about ten inches across and smooth with many pretty colors in it.

“That is a very nice rock,” says Big Government, “but it is not what we were looking for in a rock. You need to go get us another rock.”

Being eager to please Big Government, you go get another rock. This is a bigger rock with beautiful layers in it and a wonderful sheen in the right light. It was very heavy and hard to get in your truck.

“That is a very nice rock,” says Big Government, “but it is not what we were looking for in a rock. You need to go get us another rock.”

“I would love to go get you another rock,” you say to Big Government, “but can you give me some idea of what you are looking for in a rock?”

“We will know it when we see it,” says Big Government,” Now go get us another rock because we are running out of time.”

Trying to apply reason to the situation, you say, “We could save lots of time if you could give me some kind of an idea in what you want in a rock. Do you want a bigger rock, a smaller rock, a pointy rock, smooth rock, a rock with certain colors or a certain kind of material?”

“That is Classified information,” says Big Government, “Now get us that rock! We are running out of time.”

This time you go and get fifteen rocks. Each rock is different and you have provided a very good selection of rocks to choose from.

Big Government looks over the rocks you have brought and points out one of them. “Do you have that rock in a slightly smaller size with three points on one axis and a density slightly less than water?”

“No I don’t,” you say. “I don’t think I have any rocks at all that will float in water.”

Getting stern, Big Government points the fickle finger of litigation at you. “You signed this contract saying that you would get us a rock for $5. We need that rock now. You have 24 hours to provide the rock. If you don’t provide the rock, we will sue you for breech of contract and ruin your rock business.”

“But I have already brought you 17 rocks! Until just now you never provided any description of the rock! The contract just says ‘rock’, not ‘rock about nine inches across with three points on one axis and a density slightly less than water’”, you respond with justifiable indignation.

“That information is classified! Now go get us that rock!” yells Big Government. “You have 24 hours from right now!”

You then do what right thinking people do and apply yourself to the problem and do the best you possibly can. You research what little information you have and learn that there are in fact some rocks that float in water, and lucky for you, some can be found less than ninety miles away. You drive to where these rocks can be found and search for 8 hours until a rock meeting the description is found. You bring the rock to Big Government hours before the deadline.

The people you need to see are in safety meetings about the danger of paper cuts and cannot see you until literally minutes before the deadline.

They look at the rock. They look at the rock more carefully. They photograph the rock and measure the density. They count the number of points. They document the rock as though it were brought back from the moon.

“Congratulations!” says Big Government. “You have found the rock! We will approve your invoice for $5.”

“Wait!” you say, “I actually provided you with 18 rocks. They are all in that pile right there! The way I see it, you owe me $90, not $5!”

“The contract was for the rock (singular) and was for $5. The rest is your problem. By the way, you need to get that pile of 17 rocks out of here or we will have to charge you a disposal fee of no less than $1500. See your contract for the details.”

You load the 17 rocks into your pickup truck and get the hell out of there as fast as you can; fuming that you spent all that effort for just $5.

The following week, you receive a bill for $1500 dollars for the disposal of 18 rocks, and a letter telling you that you will not be paid on your invoice until the bill is settled. You respond to the letter, explaining that you took 17 rocks with you when you left and that you need to get paid the $5, seeing as how you invested far more than $5 in getting them that silly rock in the first place and baby needs new snakeskin shoes.

Big Government replies that you broke federal law in removing 18 rocks that were Government property from a Government facility and that you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

You write a detailed letter in response, telling Big Government that you removed 17 rocks that were not government property because you were going to be charged $1500 dollars if you left them there. You explain carefully the entire sequence of events and how you have done nothing wrong and that you just want your $5 and be done with the whole affair. You send copies of the letter to your lawyer and everyone you ever talked to in making this deal.

After fifteen phone calls, five visits from federal investigators, and photographs of the 17 rocks in question, the matter is close to being settled. Big Government finally recognizes that you have fulfilled your contract and did not remove government property and you did in fact leave the ONE ROCK that you are trying to get paid for.

During the investigation, you learn that Big Government has lost track of the ONE ROCK and can’t find it anywhere.

Now six months have passed and you finally get a check in the mail for $5. Along with the check is a letter stating that Big Government is again looking for a rock and that since you provided the ONE ROCK they want to know if you want to bid on getting another rock just like ONE ROCK since you have proven that you can do the job.

You figure ‘What the hell?’ and calculate what the ONE ROCK would actually cost you provided you knew then what you know now. You figure that you have to drive 90 miles, spend 8 hours looking for another rock like the ONE ROCK and drive another 90 miles back. You submit a bid based on 11 hours of your time at the going rate for people that look for rocks for a living in that area. You include the going government rate for mileage and nothing more. You figure that you have this one in the bag.

Big Government later tells you that you are not awarded the contract because they found someone else that will provide a rock for $5, and that your bid was excessively high and you are no longer on the preferred contractor’s list.

I have posted repeatedly about the jobsite I am on and how it is so challenging to get anything done.

This last week takes the cake; now that we are in the final stages and the ‘owners’ are taking over, the mood is lightening up a bit.

Somehow, a fart battle of epic proportions began in the superintendent’s office trailer. One guy would sneak a little poot, to be answered by a butt berry, to be returned with a wet wipe special, and so on.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the trailer to annoy someone and was greeted at the trailer door with a STENCH! The only way I could think of to describe it was that someone was eating raw possum and it disagreed with them. You could almost see the green tinge to the air, and I noticed that all the windows and doors were closed.

The creator of this special gift was self satisfied and giggled like a school girl when I mentioned it.

Being the kind and caring individual that I am, I decided be needed a new nickname; “Possum Bottom”.

And since I know that they are reading this at the superintendent’s trailer, I might as well send warm greetings to Possum Bottom and that “Pass the Buck Paper Pusher”- E-digger.

Greetings, Assholes, you are gonna miss me.

Quotes suspended because I feel certain that these two can not resist commenting.

(In my best Yoda voice) “Busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest, I am.”

A couple of weeks ago, the lovely Mrs. and I had friends fly in from Sacremento. Well, to be honest, they were not my friends until I actually got to meet them. After we met, I found that my curmudgeon gene had not entirely taken over and that I could again enjoy being with certain people.

We had a GREAT time playing tour guides, socializing, getting pissed off at bar tenders, and flirting with each other’s respective spouses. I feel like a human again.

Even before my new friends left, I had to be on my way to Utah for work. Two days of driving put me in some ghetto RV park in a town that closes everything on Sunday. I did my best to get my ass out of that town as quickly as possible, finishing a two week job in about one week.

Grueling drive back to the park in NM, a night of sleep, then back to Sanctuary to see the Mrs. (whom I missed sorely) An opportunity to go to the Fiery Foods Show at the casino in the afternoon was a whopping success. Who in their right mind would make spicy peanut butter? Hot pepper Jelly? Also on hand were many round female breasts at liquor booths. No man in his right mind can look away from pert young breasts and Tequila.

Saturday saw me in the theatre watching Alice in Wonderland. I totally got it and give a single finger salute to those who give it bad reviews because it was not the original story. It was not meant to be. I think it was intended as a tribute, not as an interpretation. Listen and look for references to Maxfield Parrish, The Wizard of Oz, and particularly an overblown and weak stomached Glinda the Good.

Sunday shall be a day for gentling and rest before I journey back to Lala land for (hopefully) the final installment of installation.

I believe that the federal government could learn something from this, but would fail to do so.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams, “Last Chance to See”

And by way of illustration: http://www.lcni5.com/cgi-bin/c2.cgi?075+article+News+20100304160543075075004

Conditions in La La Land have not changed. I am emotionally convinced that the ‘powers that be’ do not WANT to finish this building.

Recently I was directed to install two pieces of specialty equipment. It was rather simple, really. Thirty holes drilled into the concrete floor, thirty concrete fasteners in the holes, tighten to manufacturer’s specifications, done. All told, it should have taken me less than two days from the time the equipment arrived at the door to being done with my part and moving on.

NOT!

I was required to use concrete fasteners that were specified by La La Land, not the equipment manufacturer. When I tightened these fasteners to La La Land specifications, they tightened up and interfered with the device itself. * To those of us who wear blue collars, the solution would seem obvious; cut the top off the fastener. I was told that I was not allowed to do this until I had a directive in writing as to what was acceptable.

I waited nearly two weeks with no direction. I brought it to management attention every day. I was told that I would have direction soon. Soon became a series of “reasons” that no one could give me direction in writing, and now telling me verbally to cut the tops off the bolts.

I called “bullshit” and demanded written direction, publicly and loudly.

I finally got the direction I needed. It took me less than 20 minutes to cut the bolts.

It took me over three weeks to do a job that should have taken me two days. Why? Because there were always “reasons” that things could not be done. **

I am convinced that there is so much “cover my ass” in La La Land that no one can even remember “get ‘er done” or what it means.

There are so many layers of specifications and requirements that no one even knows what is acceptable. If you ask the people who are supposed to know, they are afraid to commit because there may be something they missed or don’t know about and they don’t want to be responsible.

They are mired in the syrup of government protectionism. They are taking away any ownership the crafts can have of their work, and any pride a craftsperson had when they arrived. They are not trying to fix a system that obviously does not work.

And today’s quote is a long one;
Pournelle’s Iron Law of Bureaucracy states that in any bureaucratic organization there will be two kinds of people. First, there will be those who are devoted to the goals of the organization. Examples are dedicated classroom teachers in an educational bureaucracy, many of the engineers are scientists at NASA, even some agricultural scientists and advisors in the former Soviet Union collective farming administration.
Secondly, there will be those dedicated to the organization itself. Examples are many of the administrators in the education system, many professors of education, many teachers union officials, much of the NASA headquarters staff, etc.
The Iron Law states that in every case the second group will gain and keep control of the organization. It will write the rules, and control promotions within the organization.

*While I was drilling these holes, I was ‘observed’ by never less than one quality control inspector and three safety observers. These individuals did nothing other than watch me to make certain I was following proper procedures. Four people stood there and watched me work alone. It was almost like I was living a cliché.

**Not on my part. I was ready every time I could do anything and pushed the hell out of others to get their parts ready so I could do my job.

I woke up this morning.

When I stepped out of bed, my foot landed on something sharp. I decided to not sue someone for making something sharp that I could step on. I did not go to the doctor to have the item removed, I just pulled it out with my fingers. I did not feel that the carpet might have too many hidden crevasses that might harbor something that can hurt me. I did not look for someone or something to blame.

During breakfast, I bit down on something hard in my breakfast burrito. I did not call the manufacturer and demand free burritos for life just because I was surprised and bit my tongue.

On my way to my truck, I slipped on some ice and fell on my ass. It never occurred to me to try to blame someone for freezing conditions or a lack of snow removal.

I do not expect someone else to look out for my welfare all the time. I accept that each and every day has in it risks that I will have to take and that it is MY responsibility to look out for myself. It is not yours, the government’s, the manufacturer of the crayon that I just ate, or the cute waitress that spilled hot coffee on me when she stumbled on a fork that some random kid dropped on the floor.

I think that it is time that we all learn to take responsibility for our own actions; good, bad, or indifferent. It is time we all learned that placing blame elsewhere is not really getting anything done.

Let’s face it folks; SHIT HAPPENS!

I could have looked down before I placed my foot on the floor. I could have been paying more attention when I was eating that burrito. I could have walked around the icy patch. I could have made the choice to not eat that crayon. (BTW They DON’T taste as good as they look!)

When we as Americans start placing responsibility where it actually belongs, we will begin to become a society of strong individuals and therefore a stronger society.

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. Napoleon Bonaparte

The “Weekend With the Dogs” has been going pretty well. We took them all along for a long drive to visit friends and they behaved pretty well except for the small one that really wanted to help the Mrs. drive. The Mrs. does not need help driving. She gets enough help from me in the back seat.

They are predicting snow for LA LA Land. Just what I need, get shut down because New Mexico has never realized that it does snow here and that it can be removed from the roads in less than days. LA LA Land will probably shut down just because they can use a snow event as a good excuse. They are so afraid that someone is going to get hurt up there that I am surprised they do not make everyone wear airbag suits all day.

In LA LA Land, if you trip on a crack in the sidewalk they want you to fill out a thirty page form about the event and then have meetings about how the accident could have been prevented. No one will ever say something simple like, “He should have stepped over the crack.” Or “He was not watching where he was walking.” It is all about the system and what changes should be made to prevent stupid.

And that leads me to my quote for today. This little gem comes from Mr. Frank Zappa, composer and curmudgeon.

“It is not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity and make it work for you.” – Frank Zappa

And an added bonus, another quote further explaining my feelings about people in general;

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.” – Frank Zappa

I wonder if that is where the word “Quark” came from.

I have to admit that I have never understood the mentality that lets certain people feed without mercy at the government teat.

Don’t get me wrong; I am not referring to those who actually do things and happen to work for the government, I am referring to those who choose to take advantage of the system and rape us all by sucking every penny they can for doing as little as possible.

In a brief discussion this week I heard a person refer to the project that I am on as ‘welfare state’; I almost swooned. It was nice to learn that I am not the only one that thinks there is something wrong.

I had to attend a meeting to address issues that have been going on for months. I left feeling frustrated because everyone had well practiced excuses as to why things are not happening as they should, but no one actually proposed any solutions!

I am working at what is reputed to be the hub of creative thought in the free world and no one here is willing to try to even consider solving what is obviously a costly problem.

There are obviously trades/individuals that don’t want this project to move forward. They take advantage of chinks in the system and stall everything they can whenever they can.

I just don’t get it.

Here is an example of the mentality of the people working there:

In the basement there is an elevator pit. It is a large pit that is meant to hold equipment that makes the freight elevator work. The freight elevator is necessary to move things into the basement.

The company that installs the elevators went away because the elevator pit was full of urine. It seems that the worker people were too lazy to actually walk to the toilets and porta potties and would just let fly in the pit. This went on for quite some time until the pit was quite deep in piss.

I actually thought that only small children and wild animals urinated where they felt the urge. Now I have learned that certain construction workers have less control than infants and forest creatures. My house pets have more control and are forced to stay inside for longer than these people.

The fact that they got away with this behavior tells me a lot about things happening on this project. The fact that it went on for so long tells me far more.

The people that manage this project are not solving these problems and it has gotten to the point that there are too many problems for a handful of people to solve. The whole situation is out of control.

I told one of the managers that I have had so much smoke blown up my ass that when I fart I blow baby powder.

It’s foggy out, and my favorite event to avoid is looking like it will be cancelled for today.

The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta is on hold while I sit warm in sanctuary enjoying a fresh pot of coffee and enjoying the fact that I am not out in the cold freezing my ass off.

I used to really like going to the fiesta, but after years of seeing organized chaos and colorful gasbags floating in the sky the interest waned.

Downsizing continues and we are almost ready for the massive moving sale. I will be glad to see most of this stuff gone. It is amazing how much stuff a family can collect and store but never actually use. I am so determined to downsize that I am even going to sell tools. For me, this is a serious commitment to a new lifestyle.

We are also remodeling to a degree and the chaos in the house far exceeds my comfort levels. With all the stuff for sale and all the moving to paint and tile and clean, being in Sanctuary is like being in a warehouse.

Can I interest you in a stereo or some furniture?