We seem to live in an age where everyone is looking for a reason to be offended. Offense has become the passive-aggressive way to get what you want.
I was recently chatting online with a friend who shared a little tale with me that I found rather enlightening;
Her daughter is in one of those somewhat ruthless dance classes that have been showcased on cable TV in the past few years. These types of classes seem to believe that a female preteen will learn to become a better person by being exposed to overly competitive adults each trying to dictate what they think is best for everyone else.
The tale says that the instructor wanted to have a class on Wednesday evenings as additional practice for an important upcoming competition. Some of the parents claimed that it interfered with their right to worship, acted offended, made a fuss, got their own way over the good of the entire class, and later bragged that now they had Wednesday nights free, since they were not going to worship.
This tale reminded me of a time not that long ago when I made a casual remark about how I liked working with all the ‘little white people’ when I worked in Idaho. Soon I was accused of ‘creating racial tensions’, even though I said nothing negative about anyone.
In both cases the offended were looking for reasons to be offended in order to get something. There was no reason to be offended, really. In the case of the dance Moms, they could have quite easily told the truth about what they wanted and campaigned for popular opinion about the Wednesday meetings. Instead they pretended offense and an infringement of ‘rights’. They hid their intent behind political correctness. The same thing with my co-workers; they had no reason to be offended about anything since my remarks could not have been in any way directed at them. They were both using political correctness to forward their own agenda.
We, as a society, have come to hide our intent behind passive-aggressive behavior. In politics, we no longer discuss a politician’s policy, we attack him personally. To me, this seemed like it got particularly bad during the Bush administration, with the left making personal attacks about the commander in chief and even accusing him of using a hurricane to kill innocents. When did it become acceptable to take a phrase out of context and turn it into a political platform?
Have we become a nation in denial, excuse makers, unwilling to confess to our self interest? Is this just another way to get other people to do as WE think they should? Frankly, I just don’t get it. We preclude honest discussion by hiding behind ‘offense’ and ‘political correctness’.
At every turn it seems someone is ‘offended’ at something, and the louder they yell, the more they are heard. They do not have to have any basis in fact, just an opinion. I learned in my first marriage that there is no resolution to an argument founded on emotion. I believe that being offended is an emotional response to not getting your own way. People are acting like spoiled children, using their ‘rights’ to infringe on the rights of others.
From this day forward, I intend to treat the idea of offense as I think we all should, ignore it. Perhaps a response could be constructed.
“Thank you for sharing your opinion. Frankly, your opinion is a personal matter and it is your responsibility. I see no reason to change my view point or comments based on your offense. If you have a comment based on reason and not emotion, I would be happy to discuss this with you. If not, then please understand why I choose to ignoring you.”
Pretty damn good bet that I am not going to make any new friends with that line.
