I have been troubled by the fact that I have not been posting here like I used to. I remember looking forward to what my latest posting might be. Was it going to be an insightful rant about the state of the human condition or perhaps a witty commentary about the intellectually gifted people that I work with? Now I can barely get up enough ire to do less than a post a month. What the hell happened?
I figured it out. Part of me just gave up. It finally sunk in that I am helpless to change anything.
This is not a good feeling.
My work environment has deteriorated to the point that it feels like I am working with circus performers. Politics has taken control where pride and integrity used to rule day to day operations. My fellow workers have all adopted the same attitude of ‘what one can’t cure, one must endure’. Where we used to take pride in what it is we do, we now spend the days looking forward to the end, be it the end of the week, the end of the day, or just the end of this agony.
It had been made clear that my comments and input are no longer welcome. Some of this project’s leaders are forced to tolerate me because the team that I have accumulated can get the job done in a timely manner, but have made it clear that they would rather have me someplace else. Rotting in the depths of hell has been one suggestion.
I am not good at politics. To me, politics used to be about discussion and compromise. Now, politics is just a way to lie to people and force your ideas down their throat against their will. Politics has no place for people who actively look for truth or honesty.
So now I seem to be working in an environment that has become directly contrary to the beliefs that my company was so proud of less than two years ago. I don’t know if this change was caused by the recession or some other reasons, but I do know that the corporate culture as I see it has changed dramatically in the last two years.
Now my challenge that I have finally gotten to the root of the problem is to get outta my funk and get something going on. This bullshit of being depressed is for the birds.
For one, it is depressing!
